The Labubu market has crashed. The Big Into Energy series (MSRP $28) is currently on sale for $5. If you elect me, I will restore the Labubu market. This is 2008 all over again!

Yes, FREE FOR ALL MALES!!! Just a small fee of $30 will be added to your next tax bill for FY2026! This isn't your choice btw, its requried for ALL MALES!

We will open state-owned Dubai Chocolate factories. Why? Because small businesses make so much money off of it, so we want to steal their business, so we get more $$$!!!

Simple idea. Teachers are so great and underappreciated, that we will give the FREE 10,000 sqft mansions in Menlo-Atherton! Only one small fee of $40,000,000 to claim!

We all hate them. Chu 2026 will BAN Pokemon/Trading Card scalping. Anyone caught will be sentenced to DEATH!

So little jobs are available for teens, and I've experienced that firsthand. We will abolish the Fair Labor Standards Act (FLSA) of 1938 in the State of California, and no one can and will stop me from doing it! Children, you can work 60 hours in the factories now!

Imports from Japan are too expensive! We will borrow only 23 billion dollars to build the best matcha farm ever! CA residents will recive a lifetime 1.3% off all California grown matcha.

no questions needed. 

this entire website is satire, but this is one thing I care about. We need to keep public transportation funded. Many people rely on these systems, and it's unfair to them. Allocate some money around and SAVE BART.